Another journey

Helleuwwww helluewww!!

How was your long weekends?? Ahh..Malaysia is truly Asia ♥ SOoooo many holidays I tell you 🙂 Alhamdulillah.. at least we get extra day to spend with our family and friends right? Saw some of my friends went for Holiday here and there. Beshhhnyaa.. I hope we will get the chance to get our mind off our works soon too!

Another 3 days of work for me before my days off. Well, where will I be heading? I will tell you soon. I don’t know what to expect yet, but I did some readings and hmm let say it scared a hell out of me.. But a friend told me just go with it. Whatever happens, just face it. Inn Shaa Allah.. pray that I could get it through ok. And I will let u know soon.

Another two days before another LONNNNNGGG weekend! yeayy!! see u soon!x

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He is indeed..The best planner

Assalamualaikum and helluww guys! ♥

Salam merdeka yang ke 62 and Salam Maal Hijrah. Allahuakbar, time flew like whooooshhh!! riggghttt?? Alhamdulillah we are still living and kicking in this world. How was your long weekend? In fact, this week is another looong weekend! Yayyy!!

So as for those who read (helluww readers…hollerr 😛 ) Alhamdulillah, thanks for ‘still’ reading my blog. I just realized how much I miss writing and telling stories or ranting. Back to my previous post, as I told before, we planned for IUI. You see, I am really afraid of hospitals. I do. Sometimes I was just braving myself because I was visiting people or accompanying my dad. But when it comes to me, myself and I, Ya Allah.. I pray soo hard please don’t let me be sick and warded things like that you know.

Allah indeed..the best planner..Our journey for IUI is a little bit nerve wrecking for me. The procedure needs you to come to the hospital, provided you have consumed a Clomide for a week or two. Your doctor will check your eggs, if it’s good enough to do the procedure, they will call you in and starts the procedure. But the thing is, it was my first time (I believe most of us has never experience it too) so, we were like hmm ok. So we went in and when the procedure was done, we just need to get home. That’s it. Well I did asked the nurse what should I do and should not do next. So the nurse explained that all I need to do is just wait for another two or three weeks and check for UPT. I’m like ‘ Tu je nurse?’ .. The nurse told me, ‘Yup. Just wait for three weeks, and if the UPT came negative,you need to come back to the hospital’ .Oh well..

So we went home..Waited for two weeks or so. Seriously, my body felt changes like woahh is this normal? I started to be soooo mooody like mood swings, sappy, emotional at every single thing. My stomach was cramping for quite some time. I did googled and having cramps after IUI is normal. So I just bare with the cramps. The cramps was not so strong anyway, just a mild one but consistently almost every day. Well actually it’s the same thing your body will feel when you are ‘expecting’ AND when you are expecting your ‘moon’ to come. So at first I was so confused! And plus, having to wait for the results the very same week as our 6th Wedding anniversary ♥ We even booked a trip to Krabi! We booked three months before everything that we planned today, so we did not know that ‘I’ could not travel during these ‘waiting period’ , just to be safe. I did seek advice from the hospital as well as some of my friends who had done IUI previously. So most of them told us that it is best for us to postponed our Krabi trip. sob sob.

So the third week has finally arrived. It was 5 days before the actual test need to be done..my stomach was sooo in pain. Like seriously cramping, I’m like oh no, please.. I was so worried. I was about to pee on the stick, then my ‘dear friend’ has finally arrived. Unfortunately, having that, which means our IUI was not success. There goes my Krabi trip and there goes our first attempt of TTC. SubhanAllah..But it’s ok. I was not sad (at that time), I was relieved. Thinking it’s ok. Lets try this again. Right? So, here we go again. Round two~! *ting ting ting ting*

Allah indeed, is the best planner. He knows what is the best for us and when to grant it to us at the right moment and the right time..

Our TTC journey continues 🙂

The journey continues..

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I wish it’s easy as sleeping like this kitty

 

So come 2019, back at work and fresh start for me. Alhamdulillah, I could walk now. I slowly start to sneak in my running back into my routine. It took me two months to actually start to put the courage and brave myself to start running. It’s kinda scary to run knowing you used to have broken bones. So I did not push myself too hard on running but I miss running! I gained weights during my medical leaves because I could not run or exercise. I could only sit, sleep, eat, walk to the toilet (with crutches) and repeat.

In March I started running again until now (working my way up to try Half Marathon soon. Just for my self achievement not for competition purpose) . I was actually planning to start HM this year, but since I broke my foot in October 2018, I need to start train again from scratch and maybe aim for next year. I knew I could, but I would not push myself too hard on that.

Having this hobby of running and getting myself back in shape is actually part of our TTC Journey.  My ‘condition’ could easily make me gain weight, water retention, hormonal belly and I could have diabetes too! (Fanauzubillahiminzalik..) Having these worry, we thought that you know what, it’s our 6th years anniversary this year.. lets try to get little Rash.er in the bun. (Inn Shaa Allah..) So I spoke to a good friend of mine back in Japan, he told me that he and his wife was trying for six years too when they decided to do something. They were both healthy like us, but maybe my hormone has started to acted up from the food I consume ( I am very weak when it comes to food) . So I started to take  supplements, home workout and having running schedule for at least once a month.

Having that, we both also decided to take my friend’s advice to seek for medical help. So recently we decided to meet doctor HA in KL. It was a really nervous experience for me because I don’t know, sometimes I have the thoughts that ‘What if I’m broken?’, ‘Do I have cancer?’, ‘Will I ever have the chance to conceive?’. Those kind of thoughts really make me wanna poop! haha

But Alhamdulillah, after the meeting with the doctor HA, I kinda feel like a little weight has lifted off my shoulder. The meeting was smooth sailing, I explained my condition, and the doctor has checked the documents we brought and all. We did a little check up and he just went, “So ok, we will wait for you ‘moon’, and we will need you to take ‘these’ and we will see you in two weeks time”. I’m like Really? I felt calm but at the same time I hope whatever the plan is, it will pull us through this time. Inn Shaa Allah. I hope it’s as simple as the cat sleeping up there. He said that we are both fine. We are just like other couples who are still trying and we are just unlucky yet. Belum rezeki..

But the doctor has many success stories under his treatment, so when we decided to meet him I have this strong hunch,’This is it. Lets try our best’.At least we tried, ikhtiar and tawakkal. The doctor advised for us to try IUI (Intrauterine insemination). So here’s our journey begins.. Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Two years later..

Baby_Feet
Photo credits from Bag Snob

 

Hi Everybody. If there’s anyone reading it anyway. .

It’s been a while since I last wrote. I had been writing blog since I was 18 years old so by the time I’m 35 (yes, proud to be 35 years old!haha) I was not in the momentum of writing anymore. To those who still writes, good job peeps! I am your silent reader 🙂

Anyway, the last time I wrote was in January 2017. Wow! It’s been two and half years now. And suddenly I feel like it’s time for me to write my journey, for my own keepsake.

So fast forwards 2019, we are still TTC. Alhamdulillah.. Still not giving up 🙂 Well, since our last meeting with the doctor was in 2017. Last year was really a roller coaster ride for us. I mean work had been super hectic and I got promoted. Alhamdulillah. I am now working at a new Agency, and well, the higher position you get, the more workload you need to face and handle. That’s all pretty normal to all of us. So 2018 was not really the year for us to like ‘thrust’ or ‘thrive’. Maybe Allah has better plans for us, right?

So in June 2018 I has started working in the new workplace and the workload was like flowing in soooo fast! It was both exciting and tiring for me because I need to double my work to catch up with the new environment, new business model, and new system. Being in a new place really put me into a fast pace and full throttle mode. In four months I was supposed to cover for two units (for temporary) !  Maybe I was thinking too much and the mind was like working all the time so I feel like sometime I was sleepwalking (half awake and half sleeping).  So, on this one unfortunate morning in October, I was waking up from my sleeping in the middle of the night and my mind just trailed off to the thought of the lights was not switched off in my living room. Automatically I woke up, stood up, and slowly walked down the stairs towards the living room (in dazed). Don’t ask me why. I was confused with my own action too. So in that dazed, as I was going down the stairs, I slipped and skipped two stairs and BROKE my right foot!

So yup, for the first time in my life, I broke my foot! Not during my running, not during netball nor handball but from falling off the stairs. Masha Allah.. Maybe Allah knows that I needed the rest like a PAUSE button for a moment, from work. so I end up having Medical leaves for TWO MONTHS. During that two months, I was home bound and yes, no little Rash.Er on the way yet.. so come 2019……

to be continued…

 

road to baby rash.er

hello peeps! wow it’s been a lousy weekend for me. For those who known me, I have been married for three years now. Blessed and bliss. Alhamdulillah I am thankful for every second of life I have. Anyways, for these past three years too, Acit and I had been TTC (Trying to concieve). We’re not in a rush though.. most people said that “It’s ok,it’s still early..” “Enjoy your honeymoon..” “Akak dah 9 tahun dik..baru lekat..” and so on.. 😉

Alhamdulillah, I am blessed with both understanding parents and in laws. Mak is trying her best not to bring up the topic despite at times she did say I put on weight and in a way trying to dig whether I’m concieving.. pity Mak. I know she wants to see her soon grandchild. But I hope she could bare with us. It’s all in Allah’s hands right?

My parents on the other hand would never brought up the ‘When’ but will keep on asking if I wanna go berurut (traditional massage for women) and meet ustaz this and that. Well, I did go. But brrr..scary! Not gonna repeat again.hihi

I don’t really talk about having a baby or trying to concieve. For me, it’s something beyond my control. It’s not like I don’t do anything, you know 😉  I may look calm, but I did meet the gynae for the past 17 years 🙂  Recently this year..I am braving myself to start to do ‘something’. I’m giving myself some time too. I’m well known for ‘taking one at a time’ . Well sometimes, I am too slow at taking my time. But then again, it’s all in Allah’s plan. So I’ve finally done my HSG. What is HSG (hysterosalpingogram)?

A hysterosalpingogram, or HSG is an important test of female fertility potential. The HSG test is a radiology procedure usually done in the radiology department of a hospital or outpatient radiology facility.

Radiographic contrast (dye) is injected into the uterine cavity through the vagina and cervix The uterine cavity fills with dye and if the fallopian tubes are open, dye fills the tubes and spills into the abdominal cavity.

This shows whether the fallopian tubes are open or blocked and whether a blockage is at the junction of the tube and uterus (proximal) or at the other end of the tube (distal).

Boy, my experience was scary! (for me) . I can’t stand pain. like literally PAIN.ouch! peeled skin, papercut, scratch, anything that bleed! but I’m not trying to scare you. Just be prepared for the worst! In my case, I have a doctor friend who advised me to take a painkiller before hand. She knew I am the kind who can’t stand period pain or any kind of pain. so I did. And alhamdulillah, during the dye thingy, I don’t feel much pain. But during inserting the tube..boy, I was in agony!  because I have a quite ‘deep’ uterus *sweats* I was reading zikr all the time with tears streaming like waterfalls from my eyes. The procedure took up almost an hour (depends on your condition). It was not so good experience for me but that’s because I am a scaredy cat. Fear of every single thing! haha

But that was me. In Shaa Allah.. I prayed that yours will be smooth sailing ok 🙂 be positive. Alhamdulillah…for me, both tubes are fine ♥  So next, I will need to go for another consultation. Pray for me aite 😉  If people keep on asking when will we have a baby, I will just say. I’m following the plan. Allah’s plan 🙂

#ttc 4 years and counting

happy birthday bunny!

it’s been ages since all of us hang together! well we actually keep ourselves busy just to make sure it was long enough to make us misses each other 😛

So last week has been a tough week for Farah. We actually planned for a lunch together before knowing Salma was unwell with swollen tonsil. We almost bailed this lunch date til a day before the lunch date, she finally said she could make it. *bless*  Funny part is we (the breakfastgang) are like doing a deadly mission cause we planned for weeks for her birthday celebration (belated ones) but the confirmation was only few hours before the real day. haha! But alhamdulillah to all my kesayangan who actually made it! Azz reserved the place at Rakuzen. Via has facial in publika and need to rush from publika to get to Damas on time. I ordered the cake in morning, lucky I had dear Gurl to make me a last minute Devil’s Choc Cake ( you are my favourite baker, Gurl ❤ ) with generous amount of berries on top! ❤ ❤  And rushed to TTDI and passed the cake to Id so she could get the cake before Farah and I arrived.

So when the day came, I picked up Farah. told her that I changed plan to go to another place in Hartamas, and she kept on repeating “i need to go to the toilet. i need to fix my tudung”. So as soon as we arrived, I thought everyone was there! LOL little that I know on ‘the way’ to the loo, we bumped into VIA (suspect number 1) and Ya Allah, when we turned around, there was SHOE! (suspect number 2) holding balloons towards us! hahaha this, was unplanned!! we were only going to the LOO!! boleh pulak loo tu DEKAT RAKUZEN! hahaha ya Allah!! I just kept on insisting Farah to get to the loo and i was i need of doing my No.1 . so, after fixing her not so senget tudung, we headed to Rakuzen (Farah was still in blur mode) it was almost mission abort until we entered Rakuzen and SUPRISEEEE!!

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we had the fireworks candle not just one but TWO! for Farah..haha glad she was so happy and it lifted up her mood the whole day.. alhamdulillah. You needed it Farah. Poor you, not enough rest and sleep. Today we EATTTT!!! hehe

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The usual suspect ❤

Thanks Azz for making time for us. She had been super busy with her MBA classes. With everyone busy with family plannings, it was Christmas day by the way. Alhamdulillah I was glad that everyone could make it. Despite, it was almost failure attempt we managed to have the whole section to ourselves and laughing our heads of on King Coco and Nur Sajat. aduyaaiii.. we had a great time. Hope you had an awesome Christmas too peeps!

much love xx

Keep you friends close, keep your enemy closer. But I sure know that these people are wayyy closer than my enemy ❤

nihon welcomed us home ;)

Helluuuuu!! look at the date! it’s another two days to 7th of Jan. ehem2.someone is turning the same age as I am! yeayy!! (by 6 months jeeee..lol)

Frankly, we are still two. hehe no sign of bun in the oven yet. Alhamdulillah I am thankful for whatever I have right now. Roof over my head, bed to sleep in,  car to commute, work to go to everyday, understanding family and most importantly my dear husband ♥ I am happy as it is..

so last year marked our 3rd anniversary. We did not go anywhere fancy for dinner nor going to nice hotel for ‘honeymoon’ because we decided to save up some money for… JAPAN! 🙂

it was quite an impulsive ‘air ticket’ purchase but it was definitely worth every penny. We spent a week in Japan and we revisit my school, my teacher, my host family, my fave park, my fave food.ahhhh…memories ♥ ♥

 

Happy 3rd Anniversary sayang. May Allah bless and cherish us with love, kindness, patience, love, health, tolerance, trust and most of all barakah. Aamiin Ya Rabb 🙂