Two years later..

Photo credits from Bag Snob


Hi Everybody. If there’s anyone reading it anyway. .

It’s been a while since I last wrote. I had been writing blog since I was 18 years old so by the time I’m 35 (yes, proud to be 35 years old!haha) I was not in the momentum of writing anymore. To those who still writes, good job peeps! I am your silent reader 🙂

Anyway, the last time I wrote was in January 2017. Wow! It’s been two and half years now. And suddenly I feel like it’s time for me to write my journey, for my own keepsake.

So fast forwards 2019, we are still TTC. Alhamdulillah.. Still not giving up 🙂 Well, since our last meeting with the doctor was in 2017. Last year was really a roller coaster ride for us. I mean work had been super hectic and I got promoted. Alhamdulillah. I am now working at a new Agency, and well, the higher position you get, the more workload you need to face and handle. That’s all pretty normal to all of us. So 2018 was not really the year for us to like ‘thrust’ or ‘thrive’. Maybe Allah has better plans for us, right?

So in June 2018 I has started working in the new workplace and the workload was like flowing in soooo fast! It was both exciting and tiring for me because I need to double my work to catch up with the new environment, new business model, and new system. Being in a new place really put me into a fast pace and full throttle mode. In four months I was supposed to cover for two units (for temporary) !  Maybe I was thinking too much and the mind was like working all the time so I feel like sometime I was sleepwalking (half awake and half sleeping).  So, on this one unfortunate morning in October, I was waking up from my sleeping in the middle of the night and my mind just trailed off to the thought of the lights was not switched off in my living room. Automatically I woke up, stood up, and slowly walked down the stairs towards the living room (in dazed). Don’t ask me why. I was confused with my own action too. So in that dazed, as I was going down the stairs, I slipped and skipped two stairs and BROKE my right foot!

So yup, for the first time in my life, I broke my foot! Not during my running, not during netball nor handball but from falling off the stairs. Masha Allah.. Maybe Allah knows that I needed the rest like a PAUSE button for a moment, from work. so I end up having Medical leaves for TWO MONTHS. During that two months, I was home bound and yes, no little Rash.Er on the way yet.. so come 2019……

to be continued…



road to baby

hello peeps! wow it’s been a lousy weekend for me. For those who known me, I have been married for three years now. Blessed and bliss. Alhamdulillah I am thankful for every second of life I have. Anyways, for these past three years too, Acit and I had been TTC (Trying to concieve). We’re not in a rush though.. most people said that “It’s ok,it’s still early..” “Enjoy your honeymoon..” “Akak dah 9 tahun dik..baru lekat..” and so on.. 😉

Alhamdulillah, I am blessed with both understanding parents and in laws. Mak is trying her best not to bring up the topic despite at times she did say I put on weight and in a way trying to dig whether I’m concieving.. pity Mak. I know she wants to see her soon grandchild. But I hope she could bare with us. It’s all in Allah’s hands right?

My parents on the other hand would never brought up the ‘When’ but will keep on asking if I wanna go berurut (traditional massage for women) and meet ustaz this and that. Well, I did go. But brrr..scary! Not gonna repeat again.hihi

I don’t really talk about having a baby or trying to concieve. For me, it’s something beyond my control. It’s not like I don’t do anything, you know 😉  I may look calm, but I did meet the gynae for the past 17 years 🙂  Recently this year..I am braving myself to start to do ‘something’. I’m giving myself some time too. I’m well known for ‘taking one at a time’ . Well sometimes, I am too slow at taking my time. But then again, it’s all in Allah’s plan. So I’ve finally done my HSG. What is HSG (hysterosalpingogram)?

A hysterosalpingogram, or HSG is an important test of female fertility potential. The HSG test is a radiology procedure usually done in the radiology department of a hospital or outpatient radiology facility.

Radiographic contrast (dye) is injected into the uterine cavity through the vagina and cervix The uterine cavity fills with dye and if the fallopian tubes are open, dye fills the tubes and spills into the abdominal cavity.

This shows whether the fallopian tubes are open or blocked and whether a blockage is at the junction of the tube and uterus (proximal) or at the other end of the tube (distal).

Boy, my experience was scary! (for me) . I can’t stand pain. like literally PAIN.ouch! peeled skin, papercut, scratch, anything that bleed! but I’m not trying to scare you. Just be prepared for the worst! In my case, I have a doctor friend who advised me to take a painkiller before hand. She knew I am the kind who can’t stand period pain or any kind of pain. so I did. And alhamdulillah, during the dye thingy, I don’t feel much pain. But during inserting the tube..boy, I was in agony!  because I have a quite ‘deep’ uterus *sweats* I was reading zikr all the time with tears streaming like waterfalls from my eyes. The procedure took up almost an hour (depends on your condition). It was not so good experience for me but that’s because I am a scaredy cat. Fear of every single thing! haha

But that was me. In Shaa Allah.. I prayed that yours will be smooth sailing ok 🙂 be positive. Alhamdulillah…for me, both tubes are fine ♥  So next, I will need to go for another consultation. Pray for me aite 😉  If people keep on asking when will we have a baby, I will just say. I’m following the plan. Allah’s plan 🙂

#ttc 4 years and counting