The journey to TTC : Part 3

6.00 am – Woke up, they took endless BP checking 😂 I did have lower BP after the surgery but Alhamdulillah I was stable.
7.00 am – breakfast arrived. All I can eat was porridge. And to know that I can’t have chicken is a sad news to me 😥


8.30 am – Mama went for breakfast. Poor mama has to sleep with me last night. I think she misses her comfy bed.
9.00 am – Dr Hamid Arshat came and brief me that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrom (PCOS) click here for info :  What is PCOS? . He said that they clear out uterine lining  and laser out the the cyst. Alhamdulillah, no endometriosis. I wanted to ask Continue reading “The journey to TTC : Part 3”

The journey to TTC : Part 2

19/9/2019 (Thursday)
5.45 am – woke up
6.00 am – nurse came and take blood pressure
6.15 am – nurse came and gave poo poo meds thru hind. Less than two minutes, flushed out everything in the toilet
6.30 am – Solat
7.30 am – took a shower
9.00 am – husband went to have breakfast in Mahbub (untunglahhh..)
10.00 am – Azzahraa came and we had a long good chat.
11.00 am – nurse came and inform that I need to prepare for Operation Room. They injected a calming remedy and informed that it will make me feel sleepy and dizzy. Glad that Azz and my husband is around to accompany me to the OT.
12.00 pm – Dr Nazri (the Anesth doc) came and took me to the OT. I have no feelings. Blank.
12.15 pm – in the OT, doctor put on oxygen mask. And i don’t remember anything. 
2.30 pm – woke up, but super dry throat and I think I could not breathe but actually it was just my throat being dry.
2.45 pm – went back to ward and super sleepy. Slept until 6.15pm.
6.15 pm – Solat (no bleed yet)
6.30 pm – hungry but all i can have is liquid diet.
6.45 pm – drank milo twice
7.00 pm – slept again
8.30 pm – woke up and my parents were ready to go back (i was too sleepy to speak to them)
9.00 pm – went to bed

The journey to TTC Part 1

Hi peeps.

If you are still reading my blog though 🙂  I just did my first Laparoscopic surgery few weeks ago. Today is Day 12. The journey was smooth Alhamdulillah. And here is my journey to share with you 🙂

18/9/2019 (Wednesday) 
12.00 pm – Hospital called to be admitted at Pantai Medical Center.
2.00 pm – Went to admission with parents and waited for Single Room.
4.00 pm – Single room (all occupied) Alhamdulillah got a two bedded room. In queue for single room (No. 5 in queue)
4.30 pm – checked in at Ward D315. Got aunty as room mate but she was to discharged by today.
Alhamdulillah got the room to myself.
5.00 pm – Lunch at Baba Boy. Had ayam penyet. And teh tarik. Sedap gila!
6.00 pm – Parents went home. Waited for husband to come.
6.30 pm – Dinner came. Steamed fish soup and pak choy. With green apple. Not so yummy but need to fill in tummy before operation tomorrow.
7.00 pm – Dr Nazri (anesthesiologist) came and brief. Need to start fasting at 12am. OT to be scheduled at 12pm (19/9/2019)
8.00 pm – Husband came and we had final round Starbucks (green tea frappe of course)
10.00 pm – came back to room
10.30 pm – nurse came to check blood pressure and requested for Hot Milo before fasting.
11.00 pm – final round of Milo & cracker before sleep. Husband could not sleep in the ward although the room mate has discharged. So he slept at waiting lounge (poor baby.Nasib baik ada bantal and selimut)
12.00 am – start fasting and tried to sleep
1.15 am – woke up. Could not sleep. Put on Quran to sleep.
2.00 am – starting to feel sleepy
to be continued..

The journey continues..

I wish it’s easy as sleeping like this kitty


So come 2019, back at work and fresh start for me. Alhamdulillah, I could walk now. I slowly start to sneak in my running back into my routine. It took me two months to actually start to put the courage and brave myself to start running. It’s kinda scary to run knowing you used to have broken bones. So I did not push myself too hard on running but I miss running! I gained weights during my medical leaves because I could not run or exercise. I could only sit, sleep, eat, walk to the toilet (with crutches) and repeat.

In March I started running again until now (working my way up to try Half Marathon soon. Just for my self achievement not for competition purpose) . I was actually planning to start HM this year, but since I broke my foot in October 2018, I need to start train again from scratch and maybe aim for next year. I knew I could, but I would not push myself too hard on that.

Having this hobby of running and getting myself back in shape is actually part of our TTC Journey.  My ‘condition’ could easily make me gain weight, water retention, hormonal belly and I could have diabetes too! (Fanauzubillahiminzalik..) Having these worry, we thought that you know what, it’s our 6th years anniversary this year.. lets try to get little in the bun. (Inn Shaa Allah..) So I spoke to a good friend of mine back in Japan, he told me that he and his wife was trying for six years too when they decided to do something. They were both healthy like us, but maybe my hormone has started to acted up from the food I consume ( I am very weak when it comes to food) . So I started to take  supplements, home workout and having running schedule for at least once a month.

Having that, we both also decided to take my friend’s advice to seek for medical help. So recently we decided to meet doctor HA in KL. It was a really nervous experience for me because I don’t know, sometimes I have the thoughts that ‘What if I’m broken?’, ‘Do I have cancer?’, ‘Will I ever have the chance to conceive?’. Those kind of thoughts really make me wanna poop! haha

But Alhamdulillah, after the meeting with the doctor HA, I kinda feel like a little weight has lifted off my shoulder. The meeting was smooth sailing, I explained my condition, and the doctor has checked the documents we brought and all. We did a little check up and he just went, “So ok, we will wait for you ‘moon’, and we will need you to take ‘these’ and we will see you in two weeks time”. I’m like Really? I felt calm but at the same time I hope whatever the plan is, it will pull us through this time. Inn Shaa Allah. I hope it’s as simple as the cat sleeping up there. He said that we are both fine. We are just like other couples who are still trying and we are just unlucky yet. Belum rezeki..

But the doctor has many success stories under his treatment, so when we decided to meet him I have this strong hunch,’This is it. Lets try our best’.At least we tried, ikhtiar and tawakkal. The doctor advised for us to try IUI (Intrauterine insemination). So here’s our journey begins.. Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Two years later..

Photo credits from Bag Snob


Hi Everybody. If there’s anyone reading it anyway. .

It’s been a while since I last wrote. I had been writing blog since I was 18 years old so by the time I’m 35 (yes, proud to be 35 years old!haha) I was not in the momentum of writing anymore. To those who still writes, good job peeps! I am your silent reader 🙂

Anyway, the last time I wrote was in January 2017. Wow! It’s been two and half years now. And suddenly I feel like it’s time for me to write my journey, for my own keepsake.

So fast forwards 2019, we are still TTC. Alhamdulillah.. Still not giving up 🙂 Well, since our last meeting with the doctor was in 2017. Last year was really a roller coaster ride for us. I mean work had been super hectic and I got promoted. Alhamdulillah. I am now working at a new Agency, and well, the higher position you get, the more workload you need to face and handle. That’s all pretty normal to all of us. So 2018 was not really the year for us to like ‘thrust’ or ‘thrive’. Maybe Allah has better plans for us, right?

So in June 2018 I has started working in the new workplace and the workload was like flowing in soooo fast! It was both exciting and tiring for me because I need to double my work to catch up with the new environment, new business model, and new system. Being in a new place really put me into a fast pace and full throttle mode. In four months I was supposed to cover for two units (for temporary) !  Maybe I was thinking too much and the mind was like working all the time so I feel like sometime I was sleepwalking (half awake and half sleeping).  So, on this one unfortunate morning in October, I was waking up from my sleeping in the middle of the night and my mind just trailed off to the thought of the lights was not switched off in my living room. Automatically I woke up, stood up, and slowly walked down the stairs towards the living room (in dazed). Don’t ask me why. I was confused with my own action too. So in that dazed, as I was going down the stairs, I slipped and skipped two stairs and BROKE my right foot!

So yup, for the first time in my life, I broke my foot! Not during my running, not during netball nor handball but from falling off the stairs. Masha Allah.. Maybe Allah knows that I needed the rest like a PAUSE button for a moment, from work. so I end up having Medical leaves for TWO MONTHS. During that two months, I was home bound and yes, no little Rash.Er on the way yet.. so come 2019……

to be continued…


road to baby

hello peeps! wow it’s been a lousy weekend for me. For those who known me, I have been married for three years now. Blessed and bliss. Alhamdulillah I am thankful for every second of life I have. Anyways, for these past three years too, Acit and I had been TTC (Trying to concieve). We’re not in a rush though.. most people said that “It’s ok,it’s still early..” “Enjoy your honeymoon..” “Akak dah 9 tahun dik..baru lekat..” and so on.. 😉

Alhamdulillah, I am blessed with both understanding parents and in laws. Mak is trying her best not to bring up the topic despite at times she did say I put on weight and in a way trying to dig whether I’m concieving.. pity Mak. I know she wants to see her soon grandchild. But I hope she could bare with us. It’s all in Allah’s hands right?

My parents on the other hand would never brought up the ‘When’ but will keep on asking if I wanna go berurut (traditional massage for women) and meet ustaz this and that. Well, I did go. But brrr..scary! Not gonna repeat again.hihi

I don’t really talk about having a baby or trying to concieve. For me, it’s something beyond my control. It’s not like I don’t do anything, you know 😉  I may look calm, but I did meet the gynae for the past 17 years 🙂  Recently this year..I am braving myself to start to do ‘something’. I’m giving myself some time too. I’m well known for ‘taking one at a time’ . Well sometimes, I am too slow at taking my time. But then again, it’s all in Allah’s plan. So I’ve finally done my HSG. What is HSG (hysterosalpingogram)?

A hysterosalpingogram, or HSG is an important test of female fertility potential. The HSG test is a radiology procedure usually done in the radiology department of a hospital or outpatient radiology facility.

Radiographic contrast (dye) is injected into the uterine cavity through the vagina and cervix The uterine cavity fills with dye and if the fallopian tubes are open, dye fills the tubes and spills into the abdominal cavity.

This shows whether the fallopian tubes are open or blocked and whether a blockage is at the junction of the tube and uterus (proximal) or at the other end of the tube (distal).

Boy, my experience was scary! (for me) . I can’t stand pain. like literally PAIN.ouch! peeled skin, papercut, scratch, anything that bleed! but I’m not trying to scare you. Just be prepared for the worst! In my case, I have a doctor friend who advised me to take a painkiller before hand. She knew I am the kind who can’t stand period pain or any kind of pain. so I did. And alhamdulillah, during the dye thingy, I don’t feel much pain. But during inserting the tube..boy, I was in agony!  because I have a quite ‘deep’ uterus *sweats* I was reading zikr all the time with tears streaming like waterfalls from my eyes. The procedure took up almost an hour (depends on your condition). It was not so good experience for me but that’s because I am a scaredy cat. Fear of every single thing! haha

But that was me. In Shaa Allah.. I prayed that yours will be smooth sailing ok 🙂 be positive. Alhamdulillah…for me, both tubes are fine ♥  So next, I will need to go for another consultation. Pray for me aite 😉  If people keep on asking when will we have a baby, I will just say. I’m following the plan. Allah’s plan 🙂

#ttc 4 years and counting